By Caridad
HAVANA TIMES — A year and a half ago I took the path that more than eight million Venezuelans have followed over the last decade. To my sorrow, I left behind Venezuela, the animals, my home, and my partner, who would join me a few months later. The journey toward the south of the continent was only possible thanks to my small group of friends, who support me in every one of my crazy ideas, even when they don’t agree with them.
Despite the kindness of Brazilians, the organization and efficiency of the city where I lived — where I was never without work — I still missed Venezuela.
Life is strange! After so many years away from Cuba, leaving my family there, it was Venezuela that I longed for.
Before joining me, my partner had to resolve some matters — getting the car running to sell it, updating the house documents to put it on the market. Our animals were in the care of a friend, but some of the cats still needed to be sterilized.
Time went by. Bureaucratic procedures and the ever-worsening economic crisis made it very difficult for my partner’s trip to get underway.
Every month I would ask, as if I hadn’t been thinking about it constantly: What if I just go back and we give Venezuela another chance?
“But everything is worse here,” “nothing has changed,” “Maduro is still there,” were more or less the answers.
And suddenly the friend who had been helping with the animals — the one we trusted to take care of that space — announced his departure.
We already had the plane ticket bought. We already had buyers for the house and the car. The earth opened beneath my feet and the sky smiled at me.
A week later, at dawn, I received dozens of WhatsApp messages: “They’re bombing,” “the US Americans went in,” “they took Maduro.”
A thousand different thoughts ran through my head. Joy, sadness — because bombs always bring sadness and fear — uncertainty, because in a few weeks I would be traveling back to Venezuela. That was already decided.
Are you sure it’s a good idea to go back to Venezuela? I heard that question several times, in Portuguese, in English, and in Spanish. After the initial euphoria over Maduro’s capture, reality looked more or less like this: the Rodríguez siblings, Diosdado Cabello and their accomplices were still at the head of the government… but under Trump’s orders… but they could stay in power, pretending obedience while time passed and waiting for the moment when Trump would leave power.
And on the other hand — to what extent would it even interest the US government for Venezuela to return to democracy? Because they have already made it very clear that oil is the main concern.
Doubts — many doubts — with an immense well of hope. Because things couldn’t be worse than they were. Because this is a beautiful country with countless natural and human sources of wealth. Because I have fallen in love with this country. Here I managed to have a roof of my own. My animals are here — I cannot abandon them. Love is here. And that sincere smile that makes me feel I belong here, even though I was born on the other side of the Caribbean.
Read more from the diary of Caridad here.